Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize