Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
