his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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