Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
