Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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