oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
