yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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