Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
