well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
