My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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