I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
