I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize