It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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