I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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