i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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