dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
