so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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