It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
