Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
