Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize