**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
