I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
