**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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