Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
