i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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