So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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