best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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