dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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