So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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