Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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