you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
