I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
