Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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