Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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