you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize