But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
