Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
