i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
