A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
