You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Congratulations! We have a period
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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