I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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