this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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