they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
