hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
