It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
