my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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