no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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