she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
