well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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