it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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