omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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