do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
