Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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