i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I AM VODKA MAN
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
