i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
