Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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