I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
