listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
