ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
