idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
