You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize