My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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